Caring today can help your child tomorrow.
The attention and interest we show our children now creates the confidence they'll need for a successful future. For instance, we can help our children get more out of school by making a connection between what they do at home and what they do at school.
Healthy children are ready to learn.
Children are always learning.
Children can learn in many places and in many ways. While school is a major source of their education, the things they learn at home are equally important to their development. As a parent, you have a chance to make a big difference in how and how well your children learn.
Learning at home can be fun for the whole family.
Family trips and vacations are exciting ways to learn.
Visit interesting places like museums, zoos, libraries, historical sites, parks-and discuss them with your children...it's fun! See new things like the ocean, mountains, cities, farms, theater-anything that's different from what they see in school or at home. Making your own maps can heighten interest in social studies.
You can help your children's school do a better job if you:
Your caring makes a teacher's caring mean so much more. Caring is more than a matter of love and dedication. Your children's teachers have plenty of both. But teacher's caring alone is not enough. Your children should know you care, too.
Be involved, interested, and concerned. Then and only then can your children get the most out of the caring their teachers give them. School staff and parents...the more we work together, the more we'll help our children.
As a parent, you are your child's first teacher. We have some suggestions on what you can do at home to help your child succeed in school. Sharing these activities should also help you develop a better relationship with your child.
Important Overall Considerations
We have some specific hints for learning particular subjects, but there are several important guidelines to help your children learn any subject more easily.
A healthy, rested child learns better.
Make sure your child goes to school well rested. A tired child is simply in no shape to learn. Neither is a child with an ear ache. Children must focus all their attention on their teacher and subject matter They can't do that when they're distracted because they're tired or ill.
All work and no play makes children dull.
See to it that your chid has activities outside of school whether it's a hobby, sports participation, music, whatever. Like the rest of us, children don't enjoy sitting in a rut. With outside stimulation, they feel better about themselves and they're better prepared to learn in the classroom.
Get right to the root of the problem-quickly.
The worst kind of thing you can do is let any kind of problem with any subject drag on. If something is bothering your child-whether it's an issue with the teacher or the pace of the course-go directly to the teacher and discuss it. Your teacher wants you child to feel good about school; your teacher wants to resolve the problem with you.
Learn what you can.
Find out what your children are learning. Even if you never "help" them as such, the more interest you show in what they're doing, the more interest they're likely to show. Get involved! Care!
Listen!
This is obviously good advice for any relationship, but it's especially important in helping you child learn more. Children are naturally eager to share their school experiences- if only someone will listen. And they really want that someone to be you. So ask questions, and get the answers, really listen to them. Then ask more questions. In a way, when you "go to school with your children," they'll get a lot more out of it.
Special Tips for Learning Specific Subjects
Reading
Math
Science
Creative Arts
Social Studies
Now obviously, this is not a list of all the possible tips. And certainly you'll come up with many good ideas on your own. But this should give you some food for thought, some ideas that can get you thinking about ways to help your child learn.
TV can be a Family Affair
If you've asked yourself,"What can I do to keep TV from having having a harmful effect on my children?" try some of these tips, which could help you solve the problem.
TV: Keep it Under Control
Parents Ask, "What Can I Do?"
TV time takes time for other activities that are very important to a child's development- homework, physical activity, creative expression, learning individual skills. TV does not have to be watched all the time. Here are a few things that can be done instead:
Now There's the VCR and Video Games
TV viewing of national networks is down, but TV use is up. That's because of cable, VCRs, and video games. These choices can be positive or negative.
Some video games stimulate children's creativity and intellect. But consider this: If these choices mean children spend more time at the TV set, they have less time for exercise, playing with other, reading, and other important activities. And too often, the games, movies, and programs are more the same-violence, lack of realism, and repetition.
Is TV Harmful to Children?
Examine these facts:
Consider These Points Too...
Why do teachers give homework?
Help your child with homework. Homework helps children learn to be responsible and gives them a sense of control and accomplishment. You are helping your child with homework when you:
You can also help enrich your child's homework experience by taking family trips to museums and exhibits or visiting exhibits online. For great web sites, visit Our Favorite Links.
The hope of every parent is to have children who are responsible, concerned members of society. Discipline is, of course, part of this effort. Research has repeatedly shown that, despite the importance of the peer group, parents usually have much more influence than they realize. Disciplining children takes a great deal of effort, but the main idea is that children and parents can change. Changing behavior requires much time and well-thought-out reactions. Some parents simply do not have the time, energy, or patience to attempt to motivate change in the child or even in themselves. It is not easy, but read on. You will be convinced that it can be done.
You Can Do It!
Here are some suggestions for positive steps toward better discipline in your home:
What About Punishment?
Thus far, we have approached the subject of discipline from a very positive standpoint. Changing behavior with positive methods is the best way. But it is a rather slow process, and you may find some behaviors of your child that you need to change more quickly. Punishment, if used properly, will produce rapid changes in behaviors that disrupt the family. It is strongly recommended, however, that you use punishment sparingly. It does encourage the child to refrain from certain behaviors, but your real task as a parent is to teach the child to be a person. By using the more positive methods described earlier, you can teach the child positive ways of behaving. Effective punishment relies on withholding rewards or privileges and provides a clear-cut method of earning them back. Before punishing, it is a good idea to give a cue (a physical or verbal warning that the behavior is to stop at once). Then punishment should follow immediately after the offense so that the child understands the association between the misbehavior and the punishment. Avoid physical punishment because other forms of discipline (short periods of isolation or withholding privileged activities) focus more on the behavior and less on the self-concept of the child. Hatred builds quickly when punishment hurts the child physically. Realistically, however, because some physical punishment is likely, care should be taken that it is neither severe nor prolonged. Physical punishment can be harmful to a child and does not accomplish the goal. Besides, no parents want their children to fear them. If a parent slaps or hits a child in anger, the undesirable behavior may stop, but two things are wrong with this method: Both parent and child are likely to be upset for some time, and no parent can hit a child every time he or she does something undesirable
Don't Give Up
Consistency will determine the success of whatever discipline methods you use. Each time you ask your children to do something, you also have a job. Be predictable - follow through. Remember, too, that your children may have been misbehaving for some time. If this is the case, when you start to correct them, they may not think you mean it. They will learn that you mean business when you continue to follow your program consistently. If you see your children slipping into behaviors you cannot correct by yourself, it may be time to seek outside assistance. When you feel you have exhausted your own efforts, your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal, your pastor or rabbi, or a child or adolescent psychologist may be able to suggest some helpful ideas and strategies. Remember, changing or establishing parental discipline is a long, slow, often tedious, process.The important thing is to form a clear objective, then take a few steps at a time in that direction.
As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its wonders and beauty. So, as many generations before us, we preach the benefits of a good education and try with deliberate effort to uphold, at least verbally, the values of studying, of "hitting the books and burning the midnight oil." But with our begging and threatening our children to study and learn, many of them seem to turn away and perceive us simply as nagging parents with little impact on their daily learning. We, in turn, often feel guilty and fatigued by these constant battles for our children's benefit, and resent our roles as minister- wardens in the service of modern education.
What Can Parents Do?
There is much that we can do. What follows is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one who does not study. Rather it is their combination and employment as a totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.
We live in an increasingly complex society in which getting a good education is no longer an option, but a necessity. Yet many children don't do as well in school as they or their parents would like. The difference between children who do poorly in school and those who do well often relates to what their parents do at home to help.
When parents take the time to help, it can influence school success as much or more than a child's intellectual capacity or the quality of the school he or she attends. Good study skills will provide your child with a basic tool needed to succeed in school.
What Can You Do to Help?
The specific techniques to use vary based on the age, maturity, and other characteristics of your child.
When helping your child arrange a study schedule, keep several points in mind: The time arranged for study should occur at the same time each day. Most children, like adults, are creatures of habit. When they get used to doing something at the same time each day, it becomes easier to remember and do rather than if it occurs at different times each day. Work with your child to set aside times for study when he or she is most alert. Involve your child in making the schedule. Children are more likely to accept a study schedule that they have been involved in setting up than one that has been imposed upon them. Help your child be realistic in the amount of time scheduled.
Children who have daily study goals are more organized, focused and motivated during study sessions. The reason is that study goals provide something specific to strive for. Encourage your child to: Develop goals based on homework assignments.Three or four small goals that your child can attain one by one work better than one large goal. Check off each goal as it is completed. Every time your child checks off a goal, it will give him or her a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. This helps provide the incentive to keep going. Promote studying for understanding. When children understand what they study, they remember it more easily than if they simply memorize it. Guide your child in these ways. Begin each study session with the assignments that are most difficult to learn and understand. Use the "survey-read-resurvey" procedure. Tell your child first to survey for the main ideas in the chapter. This can be done by reading the introduction and summary to the chapter and any study questions that might be listed at the beginning or end of the chapter. Once your child gains an understanding of the main ideas, he or she should carefully read the chapter. Finally, have your child look back through or resurvey the chapter and try to further understand and remember the main ideas and important details. Think about what is being studied and figure out a "point of view." For example, when studying weather, or more specifically rain, encourage your child to form an opinion about what causes rain. Once a point of view is determined, your child can then decide what information or evidence supports and does not support that point of view. Formulate questions. While it may seem time-consuming and awkward at first, once your child learns how to make up and seek answers to questions while studying, the task becomes more interesting, fun, and more understandable and meaningful. It is not critical which questions your child asks. But it is essential that he or she ask questions because this will promote an active, involved, and thinking approach to studying. Summarize. Outlining is one way of summarizing. The simplest way to outline is to use the textbook headings and subheadings, listing the major points covered underneath each heading. Note taking is another summarizing technique that has been found to be very helpful in fostering understanding and remembering. The benefits of note taking are that your child not only summarizes what is studied but also is involved in translating what is being studied into his or her own words. Underlining or highlighting important key ideas, facts, and details to be remembered also can be helpful. Organize important facts and information into categories whenever possible. The process of putting things into categories can help your child recognize, understand, and remember essential information. Take a few minutes at regular intervals to reflect on what was just learned. When doing this, your child may want to talk about what was learned or write notes about it. If your child understands what was just studied, he or she will be able to visualize it and talk intelligently about it during reflection time. If not, encourage your child to reread or restudy the material.
Children who have daily study goals are more organized, focused and motivated during study sessions. The reason is that study goals provide something specific to strive for.
Encourage your child to:
A child who receives recognition for academic achievement is much more likely to want to excel in school. Thus, focus on what your child does right - that is, look for achievements. Remember that a major key to improving your child's school success is making him or her feel successful. Train yourself to look for the good things your child does - look for success. Let your child know you like it and encourage it. If you focus on, expect and recognize success, you will get more of it. While it's important to recognize and pay attention to your child's achievements,you should focus recognition and attention on those accomplishments that are new or challenging to your child. Excessive recognition for everything, no matter how trivial, can result in your recognition losing its worth or value for encouraging your child to learn and try new things.
Consider the time you have to help, and pick those techniques you have the time and energy to direct and supervise. Always save time after each session, at the end of a week or at another scheduled time for you and your child to look at what has been accomplished and take pride in those accomplishments. Return to Top of Page
What is Meant by "The Process of Thinking"?
Thinking and being aware of our own thoughts are skills that make us human. Thinking is an active process. It encompasses events that range from daydreaming to problem solving. It is a kind of ongoing, internal dialogue that accompanies actions like performing a task, observing a scene, or expressing an opinion.
What Does "TeachingThinking in School" Mean?
The "teaching thinking" movement goes beyond the learning of facts. It encourages students to ask questions of the information and ideas presented in class. It helps students learn how to identify unstated assumptions, to form and defend opinions, to see relationships between events and ideas.
There are many approaches to teaching thinking. Some educators teach students to use a set of identifiable skills - such as discriminating between relevant and irrelevant points in a particular argument, or generating questions from written material. Others try to involve students in classroom experiences that will help them think more actively - such as a classroom debate or a mock court case.
What Are Some Examples of Thinking Skills Instruction?
Thinking skills instruction can be applied to all areas of the curriculum. Here are some examples of teaching these skills in the classroom:
In a first grade classroom, the teacher might engage students in a discussion of the reliability of evidence after reading them the story of Chicken Little. The teacher might lead this discussion by asking students whether the other animals should have trusted Chicken Little, and how they could have determined the truth or falsity of her story.
How Can Students' Thinking Skills Be Evaluated?
First, it's important to say that evaluating thinking skills is not the same as evaluating the number of words students spell correctly - students are not graded on how well they do, and there is generally no "right" answer. The teacher evaluates students thinking skills to see where they are at a given time, and to see where they may need extra work.
Students' thinking skills might be evaluated orally or with a paper-and-pencil test. For example, a teacher might be interested in evaluating students' skills in analysis - a breaking-down process to find out how parts fit together to make a whole. Students might be asked to list the steps involved in solving a particular problem, or to break down a task (such as making a bed) into its component parts.
How Can Parents Help Their Children Think More Actively?
As a parent you can:
Remember, if your children are active participants in a home where there is talk about the why and the how of things, they are more likely to be active thinkers both in and out of school.
Have you ever thought about the difference between talking with and talking to someone? Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being - well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance.
Every child knows the difference between being talked with and talked to. But many of us, when we talk - and children are the audience - don't stop to distinguish between with and to. We respond to the needs of the moment - what must be said. As adults and parents, we feel responsible for what our children do and for what happens to them. We feel especially responsible when we have done our best and a son or daughter is not responding.
Blaming Ourselves
Let's suppose that eight year old David is having trouble reading. He seems to be falling farther and farther behind at school. You have always helped him with his homework. You've always gone to parent-teacher conferences. You've read to him and had books in the house for him ever since he was small. Now you say to yourself, "What did I overlook when he was a baby? I followed those experts who said that certain toys would have far-reaching effects. But maybe the toys I put in his crib weren't the right ones." You don't say this aloud of course, because "Where did I go wrong?" sounds far too melodramatic. And besides, you don't want to make things worse for David by letting him know that you have something for which to blame yourself. Instead, you try to talk to David about how important it is to read - both in school and out. You may even tell him how reading will improve his chances of becoming a happy adult, a doctor or lawyer, or of doing something famous like writing a bestseller. From your point of view as an adult, that makes good sense. Your experience makes it possible for you to be wise about the skills that make adult life better and easier.
Try Listening Instead
But have you ever tried to find out how David feels about his reading right now? Have you listened to him talk about it and thought what his words meant? Maybe he says that reading a book isn't as much fun as playing with his friend Tracy, or as interesting as watching the TV programs you allow him to see, or as exciting as working math problems. Maybe the trouble he has had figuring out the words causes him to be shy about reading in class. In addition to listening to him, try to ask him the kinds of questions that may encourage him to give you specific information about his feelings. Don't wait for the opportunity to stage a conversation, but talk with him about his day at school while he's helping you put away the groceries or water the plants. With the data that comes from careful listening you can go to your next parent-teacher conference really prepared to work with David's teacher to help him improve his reading performance.
When Stress Threatens to Get the Better of Us
Patiently listening is one thing. But what can we do about those times when we can't help showing our anger in the most spectacular way? This spring Ann amazed you by going out for the baseball team. You're just getting used to thinking of her making home runs when one afternoon, just as you've pulled into the driveway and are lifting your briefcase off the back set, Anne and five other neighborhood kids approach you looking a little sheepish. Anne tells you hesitantly that one of her home run hits has just broken Mrs. Gavilan's window. "Mother," Anne says, "I didn't mean to, I was just thinking about getting Tommy and Jose and me back to home plate." You're furious - with the kids, with baseball in general, with Mrs. Gavilan, who doesn't seem to like children anyway, with that briefcase full of papers you've brought home to work on this evening. And there stands Anne, the handiest target for your anger. You explode. "What business has a girl like you, from a family like ours..." Anne is crushed, the neighborhood kids either pin you with their stares or look everywhere but at your face, until finally one of them says,"Oh, Mrs. O'Connell, it wasn't Anne's fault," and Anne murmurs, "It's OK, Mom. I'll fix it." So chagrin is added to all the other burdens of the day, and you go indoors feeling a complete failure as a parent.
Be Honest
It might help to explain yourself right then. You might put out your hand to Anne and say, "I'm sorry. Sometimes I lose my temper when things don't go according to my plans." Then find out from Anne and the others how the accident occurred. You might even ask if she wants you to go with her to Mrs. Gavilan to see what can be done about the broken window. That would certainly change your plans for the evening. But it would assure Anne and her friends of your support, your understanding of the accidental nature of the incident, and your ability to be fair in spite of all your other concerns. And it would disarm Mrs. Gavilan before she could organize her offensive against children "with working mothers." Such a show of support would also assure Anne and her friends that you weren't just being mean when you asked them to change the location of the neighborhood game so that no one's windows were endangered.
Some Suggestions to Foster Better Communication
Final Thoughts
If a child is having problems in or out of school, don't waste time blaming yourself. Although you certainly share the responsibility for your children's development, yours is not the only influence on their behavior. Touch base often with your children about the problems they may be having. Be practical and help them look for solutions, both short and long term. Keep in mind that you can't shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children's concerns you can help them to become truly independent people. An adult who is independent can also appreciate the warmth and support of close human relationships. Talking with a child is one of the best ways to show that you understand the value of that warmth and support and know how to give it.
These are just a few of the questions parents ask teachers about their children's reading. The first 'R' is a subject parents are deeply concerned about. They know that reading is a basic tool their child will need for success throughout his or her entire school and college career. They know that a youngster with reading disabilities is seriously handicapped in keeping up in class work, textbook study, supplementary reading, and in following instructions accurately when taking tests. One of the questions most frequently asked by parents is:
Classroom teachers say that parents can do many things to help their child develop this important skill. Following are some specific ideas.
Ways to Help Preschoolers
Ways to Help In Grades 1, 2, 3
Ways to Help in Grades 4, 5, 6
If Your Child Is Having Trouble with Reading:
Don't become irritated and disgusted with her. Her difficulties probably stem from factors she cannot control. Your anxiety will make her so resentful and discouraged that her reading difficulties will increase.
Don't compare his reading with other, more successful young readers in his family or neighborhood. Such comparisons make a youngster feel inept and inferior, and may keep him from reading at all.
Don't air your child's reading difficulties in front of family or visitors. In fact, the less you discuss them - except in private, with the teacher - the better.
Don't try to solve your child's reading problems yourself. Have a conference with the teacher. If she or he thinks they are serious enough for remedial reading help, or for a consultation with the school psychologist, take expert advice.